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[08 Dec 2009|10:34pm] |
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just reread everything from the past six years. six years. six years. six years. where the hell did the time go? im not really sure anymore either. everything has changed. i have new friends. i have a new life. i work a lot. i live in brooklyn. im completely unsure of my happiness. i dont think im doing what i should be doing with my life. im pretty sure every journal reiterates my inability to determine a future for myself. "am i happy? am i sad? am i content?" its all bullshit. i make my own decisions now and for the most part they have left me pretty fucking miserable. i cant let go of jason. no matter what i do, he is still there. its been how many fucking years and i cant let go? really elizabeth, lets be serious. i dont know what to do. im pretty sure he hates me with an intense passion. you know the one that ignores your phone calls and wishes bad things on you. maybe i deserve it but it will never take away how much i love him, ive always loved him. i dont think i want to live in brooklyn anymore. williamsburg is exactly what you would imagine. hipster fucking central. its great until you start talking to some pretentious asshole whose analyzed and successfully regurgitated everything from pitchforkmedia. but i guess you have that anywhere, right? i do enjoy the upper west side though. its quiet, jewish, and semi family oriented. why those things appeal to me... i really could not tell you. in fact i hate children so we can go ahead and cross out the plus side of the upper west side being semi family oriented.
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[08 Dec 2009|09:41pm] |
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wow, i cant believe i remember my password. lets do this.
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[02 Oct 2008|01:41am] |
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that last entry was a little harsh. i feel like i should maybe delete it. but in all honesty... it was the best remedy in order for me to get out some serious aggression. ive been going through hell lately. i feel like the month of september was quite possibly the worst month of my life. i say that it was the worst due to several poor decisions made by someone very close to me. ill always love him. but ive moved on. im better off alone now that i really know monogamy doesnt exist. i guess we will just have to wait and see what happens next....
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[30 Sep 2008|07:29pm] |
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your constant struggle to remain the center of attention is alarming and in all honesty....disgusting. you are not any better than the people you surround yourself with. & if that means you want to fuck an out of work 21 year old single mother while your girlfriend sleeps at her house 10 minutes away then by all means...go for it. you should be ashamed of yourself and quite frankly...humiliated. you are self righteous asshole who through everything away for a bunch of whores that you thought would boost your self esteem. you are an alcoholic who will drown in your dreams. you are going no where & i hope your actions were worth it. people will soon know the truth about you. so fuck you, you are nothing to me.
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[08 May 2008|04:34pm] |
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fleetwood mac |
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im ready to forget about this week. everyday has been terrible except for cinco de mayo. its time to go have dinner with the girls in lower chelsea....drink at the bar & watch the spurs kick some ass. i need to forget about everything right now & have a fucking amazing night.
oh btw....stop being selfish. you arent just hurting yourself.
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comicbookcrushx's journal